Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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