Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
