is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
