you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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