Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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