Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
