My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
