Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
