the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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