Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Everclear isn't food dammit
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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