But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
