No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
