Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
