My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
