Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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