Can i not drive my cunt home
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
