He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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