its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it because I queefed?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize