i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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