i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
