so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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