Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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