You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
