Walk of Shame. In a state park.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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