Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
