So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
