you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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