i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
