bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
