u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
