Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
