yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
