Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
