i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
