he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
