I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
