I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He has the fingertips of a God
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