I'm so fucking centered right now
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
