She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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