Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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