How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
