It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
