just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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