hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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