I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
