Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
