I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
