so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
