Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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