i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
