How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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