So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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