Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
