I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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