Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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