i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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