He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
