How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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