covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
