Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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