so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
