It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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