Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
