how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
