I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
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She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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