Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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