Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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