Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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