I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
